I'm forever saying 'That's going on the bucket list!' or 'Well, that's ticked off the bucket list!' and talking about this hypothetical bucket list that I have.
With all the losses that our family has sadly endured over the last couple years, it's really put a lot of things into perspective for me. I'm 28 years old, am I where I want to be in life? What DO I want from life? How am I going to get there? I spend a depressing about my time pondering my own fate and the fact that my 20's have just soared by. I'm sure I was supposed to have a lot more in my life done by now, and I just haven't. It's not that I'm lazy, I've just been BUSY. One of my husbands favourite quotes is 'Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans' and it has really rang true for me lately.
Over the last few months, I've started making a conscious effort to live life with intention. What's important? What's not? What makes me happy and how can I cull the things that make me unhappy? A major decision I made was to quit my corporate job. Oh yeah, I've been juggling a full time job on top of Sunday Soldiers. Why? Because I felt like I needed to. I needed to have that reliable income to make sure all the bills and school fees are paid. But it made me SO miserable. It completely took over my moods all of the time, not just when I was at work. So that had to go! And now it's gone. Yahhoooo!
Next step is to move house. We live pretttyyyy close to the beach, but we'd love to be closer. But of course, houses on the beach are like unicorns and I'm grown pretty fond of my kidneys, so can't sell those. We're looking at putting tenants into our house and just going to rent by the beach. Smart financial decision? Probably not. Smart life decision? I think so. It's amazing how many good vibes you can manifest when you're happy. Is money important to me? Absolutely not. Is happiness? Yes. So, that's what we're up to.
I don't know if it's just because I'm an adult now, or if it's because of all the media we are exposed to these days - or something else. But it just seems like so many people are dying and so suddenly! Between my husband and I, we lost 7 family members within 2 years. My son is 5 and has been to as many funerals as he is old. Some of those died of old age, some cancer, some suddenly and some we knew it was approaching. It's really had a profound effect on me.
The fact is, we could all be gone tomorrow. There could be a rogue missile land on us, we could get sat on by a rhino, we could have a dormant disease laying within us or perhaps we get eaten by a camel! I personally refuse to live a single day from now on without the intention of happiness.
I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY OWN LIFE. I can't control how long I will be here, but I can control what I am going to do with it.
So, I've written a short bucket list. I retain full rights to add to it, remove things, change them and edit them. Some of the points are crazy and completely unrealistic! Some of them are little and seem insignificant. But that's not the point. Writing them down helps them manifest and seem real. For now, these are what I am working to tick off by the time I go:
- Watch my boys find kind partners that will always keep them safe and happy, both emotionally and physically.
- Find our house on the beach.
- Drive through a puddle and splash someone unsuspecting on a footpath.
- Have Britney Spears' boys wearing Sunday Soldiers (GOALS!)
- Hear my boys say that they think I am a good Mum
- Watch my boys become more involved in running Sunday Soldiers
- Buy my Mum a house
- Sit down with both of my Grandmothers, a bottle of wine and hear them talk and tell all of their stories
- Eat satay (I'm highly allergic to peanuts)
- Take my boys to Disneyworld
- Have someone walk into my house and say 'Wow, nice house'
- Be able to send my husband on a yearly surfing trip
- Get Sunday Soldiers into a department store
- Sponsor a teenage girl's education
- Take up yoga
- Have a family photoshoot
- Send each of my children on one trip, anywhere they want in the world. Let them catch the travel bug like their Dad
- See Britney Spears live again
- Get a tattoo in honour of my Dad.
- Have a daughter
I don't want to pretend like I know anything about life. I'm no guru and not pretending to be. But I'm really enjoying living my life with happiness as the focus, not success or money. Things are different now. It's like a weight off my shoulders and I know my family has enjoyed slowing things down. Happy, slow living every day from now on <3